she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
