She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I am naked and annoyed.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
