so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
