Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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