So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
