Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I didn't notice because vodka
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
