I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
