but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
