I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
