ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
