Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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