if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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