Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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