Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
