Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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