Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
