I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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