Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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