I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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