I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
