I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
