he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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