Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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