I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
