at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
