I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
