Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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