Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
