the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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