you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
