All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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