Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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