dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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