If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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