Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
