So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
