possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
