Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.

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(518): View more from New York

after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.

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(619): View more from California

Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.

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(408): View more from California

i fucked her mom dude

(1-408): View more from California

there's something to tell the kids

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(352): View more from Florida

homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...

(1-352): View more from Florida

so you did it...

(352): View more from Florida

obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.

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(631): View more from New York

the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care

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(903): View more from Texas

I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.

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