Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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