Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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