I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
