Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
