I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
