escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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