im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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