As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
