Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
