i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
