I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
