he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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