seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
