I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
